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:iconunusedemotion: More from unusedEmotion


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Words, words, words... by Kublakhan27

Poetry by Chandevi


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Submitted on
October 9, 2012
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757 bytes
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Views
838
Favourites
87 (who?)
Comments
107
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We stood at the altar
In the fresh aesthetics of spring
You took my hand in yours
And slid on that fateful ring

I wore a fair dress
Clothed in a flurry of white
The poison smile
On my wedding, the only blight

So beautiful it was
My dress stained red
Our passion unbidden
I took off your head

We promised love
Till death do us part
And it shall
For your head, take my heart

My dear, my darling
Forget me not
Honor our righteous vows
And love me till I rot

Blissfully content
We vowed forever
Let my love
Bury us together
I can't write :^I

EDIT: Well, I still don't think I can write all that well (I submitted it to lots of groups because I like this one the best out of all my poetry and I do like compliments and favorites, not going to lie) but I see that at least some people think I can so for that I'm very grateful to you all, thank you very much it means a lot to me (as cliche as that sounds).

Picture belongs to :iconkapanihan:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconcaspromvx:
CaspromVX Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Student General Artist
I would like to ask you, if you wouldn't mind, If I could copy your poem and give you the owner rights on it, for my blog. Which weekly, has a topic on writing, where I try to pick up the work of some people to share in there.

By the way, I always have to ask which name you'd like to show on your work identification. You Deviant nickname or some other? Also, do you confirm you've selected the copyright protection when you submited this work?
I loved this poem, that I think you already know... =) Hope to get a response
Reply
:iconunusedemotion:
unusedEmotion Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2013  Student Writer
Ah! Sorry for the late reply! I wouldn't mind at all as long as you credit me, my username is fine :)

Thank you, I'm honored!
Reply
:iconcaspromvx:
CaspromVX Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you very much! Of course I gave you all of the credit, and added you profile link for all of the users to get acess and see more of your work. Hope you won't bother...
Thank you for letting me share your work on TAOL ( casprom.wordpress.com ) if you would like to tag or point another writer who would deserve to see his work prublished and spread, I'd love to help!

Thank you and Blessings,
Casprom Reikings =)
Reply
:iconthatfunnierpiece:
ThatFunnierPiece Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013
It's a wonderful twist after a heavy dose of poetry justifying madness or sorrow. Lines are short and descriptive, cruelty is caught and preserved, not explained. A very good piece.
Reply
:iconunusedemotion:
unusedEmotion Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you very much! I was trying to capture more of a "this happened" sort of poem. Not a "this happened and here's why" kind. So I'm glad I achieved that.
Reply
:iconartsy-akalei:
artsy-akalei Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013
Whoa. read this while listening to some haunting orchestral music, gave me goosebumps :XD: Amazing job.
Reply
:iconunusedemotion:
unusedEmotion Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Student Writer
Oh wow thank you very very much!!!
Reply
:iconjjmyster22:
JJmyster22 Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013
Every time I read this, I'm just amazed at your talent (Well, I was amazed even before then).
Reply
:iconunusedemotion:
unusedEmotion Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Student Writer
Ahaha thanks so much JJ :D
Reply
:iconrifletwofour:
RifleTwoFour Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I like this very much : ) The visual imagery is wonderfully dark and it seems to have a voice all of it's own atatched to it. Love it!
Reply
:iconunusedemotion:
unusedEmotion Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you very much, I'm glad you like it!
Reply
:iconpanacea-revival:
Panacea-Revival Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is quite dark, and well written. I love it!
Reply
:iconunusedemotion:
unusedEmotion Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you very much for the compliment!!!
Reply
:iconkiwi-shi:
Kiwi-Shi Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm quiet surprised, you seem to fav my work all the time but this is the first time I've even read yours, my apologies - I wish I'd read your work earlier. It's beautiful and touching with a hint of darkness. I love it.

:>
Reply
:iconunusedemotion:
unusedEmotion Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Student Writer
I do love your work (and thank you, because now I've started watching you and that makes me happy). Thank you! That means a lot to me! Haha, I'm not sure how this is "touching" but whatever floats your boat! Thank you again, and oh yeah, thanks for the watch!
Reply
:iconkiwi-shi:
Kiwi-Shi Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem~ Thank you as well!
Reply
:iconmalintra-shadowmoon:
Malintra-Shadowmoon Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Great poem in traditional style and rhyme. It reminded me a bit of the movie "The Corpse Bride" or gothic novel style, just from the content.
Keep on going with writing as you are a good poet :)

Compliments also to the person that digitalized the picture. That is all fine fitting together :heart:
Reply
:iconunusedemotion:
unusedEmotion Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Student Writer
Ahaha thank you, I'm glad that it reminded you of that wonderful movie and that great style!

Yes, I was lucky to find that picture and lucky to be allowed to use it :D
Reply
:iconmalintra-shadowmoon:
Malintra-Shadowmoon Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You are very welcome. Practise your writing. It is great :hug:
Reply
:iconunusedemotion:
unusedEmotion Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Student Writer
I shall, thank you
Reply
:iconmalintra-shadowmoon:
Malintra-Shadowmoon Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You are welcome. If you like to have more and special feedback on your works, I can suggest you the group :iconthecritiquables:
It is just a suggestion, you do not need to do it, but it also helped me a lot :)
Reply
:iconsi1ver-reborn:
Si1VeR-ReBoRn Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013   Writer
Hey after reading this I think tht you can write well! I like the imagery used and can definetly see why it has so many views, great job!!!!! :)
Reply
:iconunusedemotion:
unusedEmotion Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Student Writer
Wow thank you very much, that's very nice of you!!! I was unaware I was using imagery (to the extent where someone would comment on it), but if you like it well than what do I know! Thank you!
Reply
:iconsi1ver-reborn:
Si1VeR-ReBoRn Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013   Writer
ur welcome! :)
Reply
:iconsean-m-hollows:
Sean-M-Hollows Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Woman you can too write o:< hush yourself! In all honesty though I really enjoyed this piece of poetry
Reply
:iconunusedemotion:
unusedEmotion Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much! That makes me happy :D
Reply
:iconsean-m-hollows:
Sean-M-Hollows Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
No problem at all :D
Reply
:iconkapanihan:
kapanihan Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You chose very well. I found this extremely well written.
It was right to the point, no corners taken with a glorious ending. Congratulations! I'm honored to have my art been used for this beautiful poem (:
Reply
:iconunusedemotion:
unusedEmotion Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Student Writer
I'm honored to be able to feature your wonderful art! Thank you so much.
Reply
:iconbookloverblue:
bookloverblue Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is brilliant - a romantic event mixed with a dark twist. (Made me think of the Brides of Dracula for some reason...)

In case you find it useful, the best advice I ever got writing-wise was just to keep going and scribble stuff down: leave the nit-picking for later, write the thing first. And don't worry - even great writers must doubt their ability now and again! It's natural!

However, I don't want to take credit away from what is a truly great piece, so kudos, and keep up the good work!
Reply
:iconunusedemotion:
unusedEmotion Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Student Writer
Wow! Thank you so so much!

This is a really nice comment, thank you so much.
Reply
:iconbookloverblue:
bookloverblue Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconthenighttimewanderer:
TheNighttimeWanderer Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Writer
I can't write :^I" is what you say? I'm sorry @unusedEmotion, but I fully disagree with that statement. A dark, demented approach to a love tale gone horribly wrong; written with a haunting merit to it warrants respect :)

Don't sell yourself short, we writers hold the true power in this world. Without us there are no books, songs, movies or life; the world would be bleak and colorless.

We all have our parts to play in the creative world, keep developing your craft :)
Reply
:iconunusedemotion:
unusedEmotion Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Student Writer
Oh wow! That is um, a really nice message! Thank you so much!

:D

Thank you so much
Reply
:icontwinagatedragons:
TwinAgateDragons Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, very powerful. Well done.
Reply
:iconunusedemotion:
unusedEmotion Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you very much!!!
Reply
:icondisturbingmachine:
DisturbingMachine Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautiful with a dark undertone. :heart:
Reply
:iconunusedemotion:
unusedEmotion Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Writer
Thanks ever so much, I'm glad it ended up like that!
Reply
:icondisturbingmachine:
DisturbingMachine Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It was really good.
Reply
:iconunusedemotion:
unusedEmotion Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Student Writer
That's so nice of you
Reply
:iconthorndennan:
ThornDennan Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Student General Artist
I ca easily see why this would be one of your favorite pieces. I think it's beautifully written. Your a great writer.
Reply
:iconunusedemotion:
unusedEmotion Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much. That means a lot to me :)
Reply
:iconlupusintus:
LupusIntus Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I agree with ThomasInTheClouds: don't say that! There are many out there who could only dream of creating such work, such expression. ;)

This is a fantastically chilling piece and your imagery is wonderful!

Well done :heart:
Reply
:iconunusedemotion:
unusedEmotion Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Student Writer
Wow, that's, wow. That's a really big compliment. Thank you so much. Wow. This comment made me smile, thank you :)
Reply
:iconthomasintheclouds:
ThomasInTheClouds Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Student Writer
Dear, don't ever say you can't write :heart:
Reply
:iconunusedemotion:
unusedEmotion Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Student Writer
Alright, I'll try not to :heart:
Reply
:iconmalupi:
malupi Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I loved this poem. Plus, I hadn't looked at the genre, so when I got to the part of the red dress and "took off your head," I was like WHAAATT??? xD Vey good poem :P
Reply
:iconunusedemotion:
unusedEmotion Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Student Writer
Haha thank you. Haha, yes, well, I'm thinking of changing the genre so in case people do happen to look at it, it'll be a surprise. Though I don't think it fits in horror/macabre very well anyways. Thank you!
Reply
:iconwithincentenary:
WithinCentenary Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you for forwarding me to this piece, I very much enjoyed it.
Reply
:iconunusedemotion:
unusedEmotion Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012  Student Writer
If by forwarding it, you mean obnoxiously submitting it into every single group I could, then alright. You're welcome. But really, it is me who should be thanking you for the wonderful compliment.
Reply
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